things that annoy me:
- you are too pretty to be a lesbian?????
- are you sure you’re gay????
- you haven’t found the right guy yet??????
- it’s a phase??????
- your gf is a tomboy/butch/masculine so you must actually want dick?????
- my dick will make you straight????
- you don’t look like a lesbian?????
- lesbian sex is just licking and scissoring????
And if you call me at 4 am, too sad to even say hello, I will listen to your silence until you fall asleep. If you need to cry I will not wipe your tears away because you are only human and sometimes tears are as close to laughter as you can get and that’s okay. If you get sleepy I will let you drool on my arm and I won’t laugh at you if you snore too loud. If you need to yell so hard that your voice cracks and your knees fail I will hold you up and yell with you. If you get so angry you punch your hands red I will ice your knuckles and tell you that wounds heal both inside and out, and just like the cold that is harsh and burning, I will always be the warmth to soothe you and make you feel better. I will love you.
Pros of being gay: both you and your wife would get into the lifeboats on the titanic.